抓捕赖清德 还是烧烤习近平？

抓捕赖清德还是烧烤习近平？

美国以极具争议的方式对委内瑞拉总统马杜罗采取行动后，国际舆论尚在争论主权、国际法与强权政治的边界，中国网络空间却迅速掀起了一阵别样的“高潮”。不少网民---甚至至包括某些自诩为“国际问题专家”的知库人物，例如高志凯（Victor Gao) --- 突然灵光乍现，呼吁中国政府“效仿”美国，直接“抓铺赖清德”，一招解决台湾问题！

逻辑简洁明了：台湾是中国“内政”，所以行动“合法”；直接抓人，简单高效；而一直进行的反复军演“ 是劳民伤财，没有结果。

这种呼吁，我听得也热血沸腾。但是，我的问题是，中国政府，在伟大领袖习主席的亲自指导下，为什么还要搞一轮又一轮的军演，外加反复不停地“训告”，却迟迟不使用简单易行的办法直接动手抓人呢？是胆怯还是无知？？明明有现成办法，却偏偏不用，拖延民族统一大业，岂不是民族的罪人？谁应该负责？？

一把爱国的大刀，看似挥向台北，实际却拐了个弯，一下扎进了中南海！

更妙的是，这个坑挖得还相当“高明”。如果北京不照做，那就是“无脑又无能”；如果真照做，后果自然不堪设想，那其责任自然也逃脱不了了。

习主席，坐在中南海，肯定正在抓耳挠腮啊！"爱国同胞们啊，你这岂不是把我架在火上烤吗？我该怎么办？！”

历史教训：

晚清的“速战速决”，换来全面溃败；

冷战中的“快速清场”，引爆长期泥潭；

一些政权在民粹压力下押注“斩首行动”，最终把国家拖入深渊。

Arrestting Lai Ching-te or Roasting Xi Jinping

After the U.S. took the highly controversial step of acting against Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro, international debate over sovereignty, international law, and the boundaries of great-power politics was still ongoing. Yet in China’s online space, a different kind of “peak” quickly emerged. Many netizens suddenly struck by inspiration began calling on the Chinese government to “follow the U.S. example” and directly “seize Lai Ching-te,” solving the Taiwan problem in one stroke!

The logic is delightfully simple: Taiwan is China’s “internal affair,” so the action is “legal”; directly grabbing the person is simple and efficient; while the repeated military drills? “Wasteful and fruitless.”

I have to admit, this kind of call makes my blood boil. But my question is: under the personal guidance of the great leader Xi Jinping, why does the Chinese government still conduct round after round of military drills, coupled with repeated warnings and admonitions, yet refrain from taking the supposedly simple, ready-made action of seizing Lai? Is it cowardice or ignorance? Here is a solution that is literally ready-made, yet deliberately unused, delaying the great cause of national reunification—is this not a crime against the nation? Who should take responsibility?

A big patriotic sword, apparently aimed at Taipei, actually curves and plunges into Zhongnanhai!

Even better, the hole is dug with a sense of “righteousness.” If Beijing does not act, it is “brainless and incompetent”; if it actually does, the consequences are unimaginable, and of course, the responsibility cannot be avoided.

Chairman Xi, sitting in Zhongnanhai, must surely be scratching his head by now. “Your patriotism—are you not putting me on a roasting fire?” Comrades, what exactly should I do?

Lessons from history:

Late Qing’s “quick decisive battles” ended in total collapse;

Cold War-era “rapid cleanups” triggered long-term quagmires;

Some regimes, under populist pressure, gambled on “decapitation strikes,” ultimately dragging their nations into the abyss.