简朴执政

简朴执政会”纪实

上简县 —‘’上等简朴之县‘’ —- 是南部丘陵之地，素有“清廉之乡”之称。即使财政赤字逐年攀升，县政厅门口的流金大字仍然光彩耀人：“简朴执政”。

中央新一轮“简朴执政运动”一启动，县委书记假正为立即组织召开了全县”简朴执政动员大会”。

动员大会在县新建的“人民节俭大礼堂”举行。大礼堂原来的木制地板，换成了水泥地板；宽大的落地铝合金双层玻璃窗，特别改成了木制小玻璃窗；宏伟宽大现代便利的制动入口门，也紧急换成了两扇木板门；大堂外二十级台阶上的红色波斯地毯也不见了踪影；只是礼堂外墙上由假书记亲自书写的正楷大字还高悬在那儿：“简朴不是形式，简朴确是信仰”。

这次大会上，假书记手腕上戴的是一块国产老式电子表，表带经过了精心磨旧；他穿着一套漂洗发白的中山装，左肩处还有一个特别显眼的补丁，完美地体现了“艰苦朴素的革命风格”。

会场布置也体现了深刻的教育意义。所有领导人前的木头桌上，摆放的是一个粗瓷大茶缸，缸侧印有“节约光荣”四字，缸里是八分满的白水；座椅为木制条凳，没有靠背。麦克风为“复古铁壳款”，据说来自县广播站仓库的“老物件”。

午餐则是在“农家餐厅”举行的工作餐，菜谱如下：

白米饭一碗，限添一次；

炒青菜一盘 （加少量猪头肉）；

萝卜干几块，装入旧报纸小包，每人一包；

热水自取，多少不限，但需要和其他顾客一起排队领取。

晚上，县政府进行了“表彰先进”节目汇演。

表演节目有地方戏《简朴如风》，歌舞《廉如清泉，正似松柏》，以及话剧《书记吃萝卜》等。

表彰的奖品为：

红色A4 纸打印的”荣誉证书”；

一把旧铁锹，“简朴之锄”四字系用钢钉敲出；

手工布袋，由县妇联工作人员亲自缝制。

文艺表演由县文工团自编自演，全员穿着简朴的戏状，光脚登台。压轴节目《书记吃萝卜》由假书记本人亲自出演。假书记坐在泥凳子上，边咬萝卜边高喊：“宁啃萝卜不啃群众！”

台下观众感动得泪流满面！

节目表演最后，发布了“简朴执政取经”公告：

县委宣布，立刻派出由假书记亲自带领的20人考察团，即“简朴治理考察团”， 前往瑞士，“深度考察学习阿尔卑斯山区在高GDP背景下如何坚持简朴清廉执政”。

考察团特别声明如下，并恳请全县人民监督：

全体团员统一着装为“极简灰色系”，由本县服装设计公司设计定制；

行李箱一个，使用“仿军用帆布箱”；

所有机票一律经济舱 （假书记也不例外！）。

假书记在通报中特别强调：“我们要用最节俭的方式，考察了解最昂贵的国家，如何做到简朴执政的。”

为避免这次运动搞成”一阵风”（这是以前历次运动常见的毛病），尚俭县将持续六个月进行“简朴执政教育”， 并且，还计划组织乡镇级干部赴迪拜考察“清真·清廉·清水”三清简朴执政模式。

至此，简朴运动动员大会圆满结束。

全县干部群众普遍反映：“这届县委县政府领导班子，在假书记的带领下，对中央指示，领会得入脑入魂，执行得不折不扣，务实到位！‘’

三日后，省报《尚俭日报》头版头条以加粗大字刊登了社论：《最实际行动，最豪华动员：—— 上简县“简朴治理运动”纪实》。省电视台同时播出了这次动员大会。

后续：一年半后，假书记调任省副省长，特别主管全省“简朴执政”工作，兼任“省纪检委”主任。

==========================

Frugal Governance

— A Chronicle of Shangjian County’s “Frugal Governance Mobilization Conference”

Shangjian County, literally known as the “County of Supreme Frugality,” nestles in the southern hills, long celebrated as the “Land of Integrity.” Despite a growing fiscal deficit, the gilded characters at the county government hall still gleam brightly: “Frugal Governance.”

As soon as the central government launched its new “Frugal Governance Campaign,” County Party Secretary Jia Zhengwei — which literally means “Fake Upright Greatness”--- swiftly organized a county-wide “Frugal Governance Mobilization Conference.”

The conference took place in the newly built “People’s Austerity Auditorium.” The original wooden flooring had been replaced with bare cement; the wide, double-layered aluminum alloy windows were swapped for small wooden ones; the grand, modern automatic entrance doors were urgently replaced with two creaky wooden panels; and the red Persian carpet that once adorned the twenty steps outside the hall had vanished. Only the bold calligraphy penned by Secretary Jia remained, hanging proudly on the outer wall: “Frugality is not a formality; it is a faith.”

At the conference, Secretary Jia wore a faded Zhongshan suit with a conspicuous patch on the left shoulder, perfectly embodying the “revolutionary style of simplicity.” On his wrist was a domestically made, vintage electronic watch, its strap meticulously worn to appear aged.

The venue’s setup carried deep educational significance. Each leader’s wooden table held a coarse ceramic mug inscribed with “Saving is Glorious,” filled with eight-tenths water. The seats were backless wooden benches, and the microphone was a “retro iron-shell model,” reportedly unearthed from the county radio station’s storage.

Lunch was a working meal at the “Farmhouse Restaurant,” with the following menu:

One bowl of plain rice, refillable once;

A plate of stir-fried greens (with a small amount of pork head meat);

A few pieces of dried radish, wrapped in old newspaper, one packet per person;

Hot water, self-served, unlimited but requiring queuing with other patrons.

That evening, the county government held a “Commendation of Exemplars” performance gala.

The program included a local opera, Frugality Like the Wind, a song-and-dance routine, Clear as a Spring, Steadfast as a Pine, and a play, The Secretary Eats Radish.

The awards presented were:

A certificate of honor printed on red A4 paper;

An old shovel, engraved with “Hoe of Frugality” using steel nails;

A handmade cloth bag, sewn by the county Women’s Federation.

The performances, self-written and performed by the county cultural troupe, featured actors in simple costumes, barefoot on stage. The grand finale, The Secretary Eats Radish, starred Secretary Jia himself. Sitting on a mud stool, he bit into a radish while shouting, “Better to chew radish than exploit the masses!”

The audience below was moved to tears!

At the close of the performances, the county announced the “Frugal Governance Study Mission.” A 20-member delegation, led by Secretary Jia himself, would travel to Switzerland to “deeply study how the Alpine region maintains frugal and honest governance despite high GDP.”

The delegation issued the following statement, inviting public oversight:

All members would wear “ultra-simple gray” uniforms, custom-designed by the county’s clothing company;

Each would carry a single “military-style canvas” suitcase;

All flights would be economy class (no exceptions, not even for Secretary Jia!).

Secretary Jia emphasized in his announcement: “We will use the most frugal methods to study how the most expensive country achieves frugal governance.”

To prevent the campaign from becoming “a passing breeze” (a common flaw of past movements), Shangjian County planned six months of “Frugal Governance Education” and intended to send township cadres to Dubai to study the “Pure Faith, Pure Integrity, Pure Clarity” model of frugal governance.

With that, the Frugal Governance Mobilization Conference concluded successfully.

County cadres and residents widely praised the event: “Under Secretary Jia’s leadership, this county government has deeply internalized central directives, executed them flawlessly, and acted with true pragmatism!”

Three days later, the provincial newspaper Shangjian Daily published a bolded front-page editorial: The Most Practical Action, The Most Grand Mobilization: A Chronicle of Shangjian County’s “Frugal Governance Campaign.” The provincial television station also broadcast the event.

Epilogue: One and a half years later, Secretary Jia was promoted to deputy provincial governor, overseeing the province’s “Frugal Governance” efforts and concurrently serving as director of the Provincial Discipline Inspection Commission.

Translation Notes

Tone and Style: The translation maintains the satirical and exaggerated tone of the original, using vivid imagery and formal phrasing to mimic the bureaucratic language (e.g., “deeply internalized central directives” for “领会得入脑入魂”).

Cultural References: Terms like “Zhongshan suit” and “People’s Austerity Auditorium” are kept to preserve cultural specificity. “地方戏” is translated as “local opera” for clarity.

Name Adjustment: “假正为” is retained as “Jia Zhengwei” per your earlier approval, balancing subtlety with the satirical hint of falsity.

Idiomatic Adjustments: Phrases like “入脑入魂” (etched in mind and soul) and “不折不扣” (without compromise) are rendered idiomatically as “deeply internalized” and “flawlessly executed” to ensure natural English while preserving the bureaucratic pomposity.

If you’d like further refinements or adjustments to the translation (e.g., more formal or humorous language), please let me know!

Translated by Grok