一个无神论者与神的对话 （上）

本人生长在一个没有宗教自由的国度，但靠着文化和科学的哺育，成长为一个具有正常人格的人，虽然没有神明观 却和任何宗教信徒一样，有良知和罪恶感。当宗教信徒向他们的神明祈祷时，本人用独特的打坐冥想方式清理自己的思绪，反省过失。此习惯已保持多年，偶尔也能做到瑜伽三摩地的寂定心境，但从未有过更高境界的神奇，直到不久前的一个深夜，本人在打坐时经历了一次神奇的OBE (out-of-body experience)，灵魂脱离了躯体，和神明邂逅。 以下就是这段邂逅的真实记录：

The stone gallery is strengthened by a buttress on each side. A wooden door, tightly hinged to the wall, is smoothly heavy. There are vault columns inside the gallery which are made of granite to bear the load. Small rooms are diced up behind the vault columns, doors closed, a sentinels holding a spear by the doors, guards the obvious secrets inside.  There is a candle lamp hanging on each column, lighting up the Gargoyle underneath. The gallery, just like any earthly shrine, is constructed by the simple geometric and physical rules, symmetrically beautiful. There are surprisingly no displays of religious symbols of any kind. The stone floor bearing the invisible footprints of prior saints, make me feel emotionally glorified and a little bit atheistically defiant, simultaneously. Spa music like enchanting sound echoes in the hall, meditatively soothing. An incarnated figure dressed in an ancient Roman Toga sits on a raised marble platform, lanky, frivolous in disposition. His face hidden in the shadow formed by the background luminescent light, high in frequency on EM Spectrum by eye measurement, creating an ultra violet light glare, my eyes squint. Realizing that I am encountering the highest sacred, I am ritualistically horrified and kinesthetically paralyzed. I know the brightness behind him is the eternity, the infinity of the universe and the place for afterlife if there is one. My grandma’s smile flashes in my mind. I shiver and close my eyes.

“Your Migh…” My throat dry, voice cracked, searching for an appropriate replacement word for “Your Mighty” to maintain an atheist’s dignity and to show my ultimate respect for him as well. God reads my mind, says in a soft voice: “You may sit.”

I sit down on the floor, one leg overlapping the other, this is my usual meditating position.

“You aren’t a Theist,” God continues, “you don’t have to follow the religious rituals.  You can call me ‘Mite’, just like the nicknames of Mike or Joe.”

He raises his right arm up in the air and folds his hand into a fist, slowly unfolding his fingers, one at a time. When the last little finger unfolds, a dove pops up in his hand. He says with a teasing smile, “I’ve earned my name, haven’t I?”

I am visibly amazed, though not sure if this is a magician’s sleight of hand trick or a real miracle. The ice is quietly broken and I regain my composure: “Yes, Mite, you deserve the name. ”

I quickly search my brain to compose a few questions which are not only intriguing to Atheists like me but also to the human beings as a whole. This is a millennial chance to have a direct dialogue with God, but I have to lay out the questions with prudence to demonstrate that we the human do have the threshold of intelligence required to communicate with God.

I collect the scattered strings of my thoughts and take a deep breath, starting with the easiest question first:

“You are incarnated now and are as palpable to me as the granite columns, why don’t you stay this way so that the doubt about your existence which has confounded human beings for thousands of years can be annihilated once and for all? ”

“A boring question,” he says, but his voice is brisk and euphoric, not bored to my ears.

“I have been asked this question for billions of times over thousands of the solar cycles and I have repeated myself each time. But the message never gets across. The lighthouse is built to guide navigation at night. The light, not the generator underneath, needs to be seen. I choose to stay beyond the limits of human cognizant capabilities to maintain my supremacy. Proving my existence by incarnation would just serve the opposite. 

“There are also practical reasons for me to stay out of recognition. It would cause confusions and strife and probably wars among human beings. Staying invisibly is the best way to be not taken advantage of by menaces. Human beings are prejudiced racially and ethnically. My invisible supremacy will transcend people over hate and biases. Will you marry a girl of a different race?”

“Probably not,” I answer honestly, I love my wife though her moaning and groaning drive me nuts sometimes. I say:“so you encourage different incarnations of you, likes Jesus, Buddha or Allah and many more to our own likings?”

Mite says: “I acquiesce.”