笑一笑：遇到老虎，家长会
比老虎更可怕的，是一个人对规则的蔑视
爷爷退休了，报名上了老人大学，
正读一年级的孙子好奇地问：“爷爷，你还读书啊?”
爷爷说：“我读书有什么不好吗?”
孙子说：“好是好，就是万一你学校通知开家长会，那你怎么办呢?”
猪被杀后向佛祖哭诉：佛祖，我太冤了，吃了一辈子剩饭、泔水，最后还要被杀，供人享用。
佛祖说：你上辈子不听民间疾苦，今生让你长个大耳朵；
你看不起老百姓，今生让你长个眯缝眼；
你总爱说大话，今生让你嘴巴前突；
你老坐办公室，今生让你四肢短小；
你搞二奶多，今生让你长一排奶头；
你平时吃的剩饭，喝的泔水是你上辈子浪费掉的。
猪疑惑的说：难道我上辈子是个国家干部？
三字经翻译
人之初：At the beginning of life。
性本善：Sex is good。
性相近：Basically, all the sex are same。
习相远：But it depends on how you do it。
苟不教：If you do not practice all the time。
性乃迁：Sex will leave you。
教之道：The way of learning it。
贵以专：It is very important to make love with only one person。
昔孟母：Once a great mother, Mrs Meng。
择邻处：Choose her neighbor to avoid bad sex influence。
子不学：If you don't study hard。
断机杼：Your Dick will become useless。
窦燕山：Dou, the Famous。
有义方：Owned a very effective exciting medicine。
教五子：All his five son took it。
名俱扬：And their sexual ability were well-known。
养不教：If your children don't know how to do it。
父之过：It is all your fault。
教不严：If they had lots of problems with it。
师之惰：Their teacher must be too lazy to tell them details on sex。
子不学：You may refuse to study this。
非所宜：But that is a real mistake。
幼不学：If you don't learn it in childhood。
老何为：You will lose your ability when aged。
玉不琢：If you don't exercise your dick。
不成器：It won't become hard and strong。
人不学：If you don't learn sex。
不知义：You can by no means enjoy its sweetness。
